What Toddlers May Be Communicating Through Their Behavior

By Anissa C. Weimer, MS, CCC-SLP

Toddlers have a lot to say—often much more than they have the words to express.
 

They have opinions about which cup they want, ideas about what they want you to do, excitement they want to share, and very definite thoughts about what should happen next. The problem is that their ability to communicate those thoughts and others is still developing.
 

Sometimes, that gap between what a toddler wants to communicate and what they are able to express shows up through behavior. 

A toddler who pulls you across the room may be saying, “Come see!” A child who pushes something away may mean, “I don't want that.” Repeating the same word louder and louder may be less about refusing to cooperate and more about, “You're not understanding me.” Crying when you offer what you thought they requested may simply mean, “That's not what I meant.”
 

Of course, not every challenging toddler behavior is about communication. Toddlers become tired, hungry, overwhelmed, frustrated by limits, and upset by transitions just like the rest of us. But behavior gives us information. Sometimes asking “What might my child be trying to communicate?” can help us see a situation differently. 

When You Don't Understand, Try “Show Me”

 

I learned this lesson with my own daughter.
In the second book in my Little Voices Big Futures series, The Toddler Transition, I share the story of her running to me at about 30 months old, excitedly repeating what sounded like “turdee.” I couldn't figure out what she was saying. The more I asked, the more frustrated she became.
 

Finally, instead of asking her to repeat herself again, I said, “Show me.”
 

She grabbed my hand and led me to the garage—where she proudly showed me a turtle.
 

Her growing frustration hadn't been the message. It was the result of having a message she desperately wanted to share and not being understood. 
 

“Show me” is a simple strategy parents can try when words aren't working. Let your toddler point, gesture, bring you an object, or lead you somewhere. Once you understand, give them the language that goes with the message: “Turtle! You found a turtle!” or “You want me to open it. Okay!”
 

You're showing your child that communication is bigger than perfectly spoken words.
 

Create a Little Communication Opportunity
 

Play gives us another way to help toddlers discover that their communication matters.
 

Try creating a small, playful problem. Give your child a favorite toy in a container they need help opening. Put a desired toy slightly out of reach. Build a block tower and let it tumble down.
Then pause.
 

Instead of immediately solving the problem, watch what your toddler does. Do they look at you? Point? 

Make a sound? Hand you the container? Reach toward the toy? Say a word?
 

Respond to that attempt, then add simple language: “Help?” “Open!” “You want the car.”
 

As I discuss in The Toddler Transition, toddlers begin learning that communication has power when they make a sound and someone responds, gesture and someone reacts, or use a word and something happens. 
 

Look for the Message
 

The goal isn't to analyze every tantrum or eliminate normal toddler behavior. It's simply to become curious about what may be underneath it.
 

Sometimes a behavior is just a behavior, but often, there's a little voice behind it saying:
 

“I don't want that.” 
 

“Help me.”
 

“I'm overwhelmed.” 
 

“I need a break.” 
 

“I don't understand.”
 

When we look for the message behind the behavior, respond to what our toddlers are trying to tell us, and model the words they need to express it, we do more than help them feel understood in the moment. We give them the language to communicate more clearly—and show them that their voice matters.

 

Order your copy of "The Toddler Transition" book by clicking HERE! 
 

About the Author: 
Anissa C. Weimer, MS, CCC-SLP, is a speech-language pathologist, former educator, and author of the Little Voices Big Futures series. Her work focuses on helping parents and caregivers understand early communication development and use practical, everyday strategies to support their children’s growing communication skills. The Toddler Transition, the second book in the series, focuses on communication development from 18 to 36 months, including milestones, communication concerns, and play-based strategies families can use at home. Learn more about Anissa, the series, and additional resources at https://www.LittleVoicesBigFutures.com
 

Activities to Improve Postural Stability

Postural control is the ability to keep oneself in and upright and stable position. It is necessary for a child’s ability to sit upright, pull up, stand, walk, maintain balance, and even perform fine motor tasks. Postural control provides a foundation for future participation in academics, daily routines, and sports. Postal control provide stability for the hands and fingers and supports other actions, such as looking, touching, grasping, and dynamic motor skills. When the hips, trunk, neck and shoulders are strong and stable, this provides a foundation for head control and upper extremity movement. In a previous post, I described how tummy time plays an important role in the development of postural control.

How to Improve Postural Stability
 
Below you will find a variety of activities in which a child can engage to improve postural control.

*  Animal walks
*  Crawling
*  Wheelbarrow walks
*  Holding a “superman position”
*  Playing games while in a tall or half kneeling position
*  Jumping, swinging, and hopscotch play
*  Play “waste basket” basketball with light wrist weights (1/4-pound) while lying on the stomach over a large exercise ball or ottoman 

 

Edible Finger Paint Activity!

Finger painting is a wonderful sensory activity, and it is also a great way to work on drawing, pre-writing, and writing skills. It's so simple to make and it's a great activity for a rainy day or a screened free afternoon. 

You will just need some food coloring and vanilla yogurt! Put 2 to 3 drops of food coloring into the yogurt, and stir well! Have fun finger painting. You can even show your child how to mix colors such as blue and yellow to make green. So much fun!!!
 

Worry Monster Craft for Kids

This "Worry Monster" craft for kids is a an effective therapeutic activity to help children deal with their anxiety and worries. A child can simply write down or draw a picture of what worrying them on a piece of paper. Then encourage the child to tell you about the worry, which will help them process their feelings and work through them. Next, instruct the child to crumple the paper into a small ball and "feed it" to the Worry Monster! Ensure the child that the monster will now deal with the worry so that they won't have to any longer.

Supplies Needed:

• Empty tissue box
• 2 pipe cleaners
• Construction paper in a variety of colors
• Googly eyes
• Scissors
• Scotch tape

Cover the tissue box with construction paper and secure the paper in place with tape. Decorate the box with shapes cut out of the construction paper or use colorful stickers. Be sure to make the monster some teeth! Twist each pipe cleaner around your finger to make a spiral. Tape a circular piece of construction paper to one end of each of the pipe cleaners then stick a googly eye sticker onto each circles. Poke 2 holes in the top of the tissue box, insert each "pipe cleaner eye," and secure them in place with tape inside the tissue box. Now feed those worries to your "Worry Monster."

4th of July Craft

This is a cute 4th of July craft for kids that is easy to create and fun to play with. Making it is also a good way for a child to work on their fine motor skills. 

Materials Needed:

• Card stock paper in a variety of colors
• An empty clean ice cream "Push-up" 
• Red, white, and blue curling ribbon
• Scotch tape 

Directions:

Cut a piece of card stock paper to the size of the "Push-up" cylinder/container, cover it, and tape it in place. Decorate the card stock cylinder with stripes, dots, or decorations of your choosing. Cut a handful of ribbons to 5-inches in length and curl the ends. Tape the ribbon onto the "pusher" component of the "Push-up" container. Remove the original "Push-up" cylinder. Insert the "pusher" component into the card stock cylinder. Push-up to launch the firework!!! 

 

Visual Perceptual Popsicle Stick Activity

Visual perceptual skills involve the brain organizing and making sense of visual information. Design copy activities like the one described below are a good way for a child to improve visual perceptual skills.

This DIY visual perceptual popsicle activity is easy to put together and carry out. All you need are several different colors of large popsicle sticks, Velcro dots, paper, and a copy machine. Place three of the Velcro hook dots each popsicle stick at each end as well as on the middle of the stick (as seen in the photo above) and three of the velcro loop dots on the other side of each stick. Arrange the popsicle sticks into different shapes or designs and make a photo copy of the designs. Now your child can have fun copying each design! 

 

Popsicle Stick Color Matching Activity

This popsicle stick color matching activity is an easy DIY activity! Here are the instructions.

Supplies Needed:
Popsicle sticks in a variety of colors
A small box
Construction paper that corresponds in color to each popsicle stick color
Scotch tape
Scissors
Craft knife

Cut the different colors construction paper into strips that will fit on the top of the box. Secure the construction paper strips in place using tape or glue. (See the photo above.) Using the craft knife, cut a slit that a popsicle stick with fit through through each different color of construction paper as well as the top of the box. 

Have fun matching!